


Human Sadnesss

by kombuchaqueen



Series: Business and Pleasure [1]
Category: Rick and Morty
Genre: Aphrodisiacs, Blow Jobs, Casual Sex, Cunnilingus, Dirty Talk, F/M, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Rick speaks spanish, Spanking, Squirting, Vaginal Fingering, Vaginal Sex, slight dubcon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-06
Updated: 2020-06-06
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:15:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24579676
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kombuchaqueen/pseuds/kombuchaqueen
Summary: "He didn’t need a girlfriend or a partner—but he did need to feel the comfortable embrace of another person once in a while, and so did you."You're an intergalactic assassin and miss out on your target in a dingy alien bar, but the rare sight of another human in the deep reaches of space ensures that your night isn't a wasted one.
Relationships: Rick Sanchez/Original Female Character(s), Rick Sanchez/Reader
Series: Business and Pleasure [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1925848
Comments: 5
Kudos: 123





	Human Sadnesss

**Author's Note:**

> I wanted to put a quick note on this that the story contains a little dubious consent, and I don't want to catch anyone off guard with it. Rick suggests a drink to you that you later find out acts as an aphrodisiac. Reader is into it, but I know not everyone will be!

Scanning the bar covertly, you let out an annoyed sigh. You’d been sitting in this filthy bar filled with all manner of alien life for about six hours, and there was still no sign of your target. You’d been tipped off by a trusted source that he was definitely going to make an appearance here tonight, but it seemed as though their tip was erroneous. 

While this wasn’t the sort of establishment you’d usually hang out at, you imagined you could have a pretty good time here after a few drinks if you had been visiting for pleasure rather than business. Plenty of beings had chatted you up, and you were one of the only humanoid creatures in the place, making many curious about your origins. You were pretty used to this—you could count on your hands the amount of human beings you’d seen in the vast reaches of space throughout the years. You’d met some that seemed almost human but possessed one or two traits that were decidedly not human—antennae, blue skin, multiple eyes or limbs. You’d seen beings that looked like the animals you knew on earth, and you’d seen beings you didn’t know how to make heads or tails of. 

And you’d fucked plenty of them.

It wasn’t like the lifestyle of an intergalactic assassin really afforded you any time for long-term relationships. You were horny, and you were curious. When in space, fuck some aliens, right? Only a handful of your sexual encounters with space beings were truly detestable; the others ranged from mildly ok to fucking incredible. You’d gotten to a point where you could usually parse out whether or not you and a particular being would be able to have sex in any meaningful way, and you’d had your eye on a few in the building tonight.

Giving one last sweep around the place, you resigned to yourself that you weren’t going to run into your intended target tonight, so you might as well have a few drinks before packing it in. Maybe you could still pull someone tonight and it wouldn’t be a totally wasted evening after all. Besides, you’d been watching everyone else getting messed up at the bar all evening, and you hadn’t drank a drop. 

You’d been to plenty of alien bars, so you had some idea of what beverages would safely get a human drunk, high, or what have you—but as you scanned the bar you didn’t see anything you recognized, nor was there any sort of menu or drink list. You furrowed your brow a little more, straining to read the writing on the glittering bottles lining the bar. 

“Hey—hey babe. Not sure what poison to pick?”

You heard someone sit next to you so you weren’t surprised to hear them speak, but you were surprised once you turned your head and saw who it was. 

Sitting on the stool beside you was an older man—plenty older than you—haphazard hair sticking out in all directions, thin, long frame draped in a white lab coat.

_Rick._

You weren’t sure whether to laugh or shake your head, so you did a little bit of both. Out of the handful of actual humans you’d met on alien planets, Ricks made up about a third of them. Two of them had a younger kid with them—at first you got confused when you ran into them the second time and they didn’t know who you were. It was a little earlier in your career, and you weren’t as keen on interdimensional travel back then. The third Rick you met was alone, and he looked almost the same as the other two, but with different hair and clothes. All three of them had the same brand of personality—cynical and pompous, self-serving, smarter than you but oftentimes drunk and sloppy. Good but dark sense of humor. Dangerous. 

Lecherous. 

You weren’t sure what it was about them—maybe it was the power they carried themselves with and that you knew they possessed. Maybe it was the taboo of being with an older man. Maybe it was because you imagined they were just misogynistic enough to fuck you hard and rough, but decent enough to not cross any lines—and leave you the fuck alone afterwards. 

This Rick was alone. You weren’t totally sure this wasn’t a Rick you’d met before, but after you’d both finish eyeing each other, he followed up with, “You not sure what to order? What-what tickles your fancy on Earth? Assuming you are from Earth.”

A fresh new Rick, a bar full of alien booze, and a brand new chance to shoot your shot.

“I am,” you smirked, trying to be coy but feeling the blood rush to your cheeks. You definitely needed a drink. “I usually go for Moopian moonshine, but I didn’t see any. Earth drinks? Vodka, hands down. What’s comparable to that?”

“How about actual vodka?” He quipped, fishing his flask out of his inner coat pocket and taking a long draw before offering it out to you.

Your mind raced even as you instinctively reached up to accept it. It could be poisoned. Could be a roofie. Could be…well, literally anything really if you knew Rick—which you did. He licked some of the wetness from his lips and the oily scent of vodka wafted from him. 

What the hell, you decided as you took the flask. If you were gonna try to bed Rick Sanchez might as well go balls deep. Besides, you couldn’t remember the last time you tasted actual vodka. 

As you tipped the flask back and took a steep drink from it, you almost choked from the burning in your throat—but you’d be damned if you coughed on liquor in front of him. As you swallowed you felt comforted knowing that this probably was just vodka after all, feeling the familiar warmth spread down in your chest.

“Wow,” you said plainly, smacking your lips. “I haven’t had real liquor in a while. What brand is that?” You weren’t even sure if they still made any of the Earth brands you liked anymore.

“St-stolichnaya, babyyyyyy,” he accentuated the last syllable of the word and punctuated it with a belch.

You grinned, already feeling a little loose from the liquor.

“Good choice. Not too pricey but also not like, Burnett’s,” you quipped.

“Hey I’ve fucked up some shit p-pretty successfully on Burnett’s.”

“Oh me too, no doubt. But if I’m not going to be vomiting it into a dorm room toilet then I’m treating myself to something fancier. But not too fancy.” The corners of his mouth turned up just a bit.

“Well if it’s vodka you’re looking to approximate I’d go Glorxophan. How b-bout a couple shots on me?” 

Your cheeks flushed both from the alcohol and the heat building between your legs. You’d barely even flirted yet, but the images in your mind were sinful and you were feeling certain already that you were taking him home tonight. 

“Well if you’re buying.” You felt like giggling but were also trying to keep your cool.

Rick was bobbing his head up and down, searching along the bar for the tender. “W-where’s the service in this place, huh? I need four shots Glorxophan!” He turned to face you. “And what’ll you have? No I’m just kidding, we’re-we’re gonna do two each.” He closed his eyes, laughing a little at his own joke. 

No bartender appeared as expected, instead two fleshy tendrils holding two shot glasses each crept their way up the bar and placed the drinks in front of you.

“T-thanks hentai bartender,” Rick said as he slid two glasses over to you and claimed the other two for himself. You laughed at that, and picked up your glass to toast with him. Rick threw his back confidently, while you were a little cautious and expecting the liquid to burn much more than the gulp of standard vodka did. Surprisingly, the drink was pretty smooth, but it did have the bitter flavor of vodka behind it, especially on the way down your throat. 

It made you fuzzy-headed almost immediately, and for a second you shut your eyes and threw your head back. You could hear Rick hum contentedly. Soon you felt the warmth rush down from your head and into your body, making you a little more cognizant but still definitely feeling a good buzz. 

“So what-what are you—what’s your business in a place like this?” Rick enquired leaning a little closer to you, eyes lidded.  
“Well, if I told you I’d have to kill you,” you laughed, swaying towards him on your stool.

“I-I’d like to see you try baby,” he growled, a flash of cunning in his eyes that only had you more turned on.

“Me too. I’m an intergalactic assassin,” you deadpanned, Rick looking a bit taken aback. “But don’t worry, I’ve never gotten a hit on a Rick—even if I did I probably wouldn’t accept it. 

The twinkle in Rick’s eye became downright devious as he flashed his teeth in a wide grin and said, “Ohh, so you’re familiar with my work huh? H-holding out on me this whole time?”

You fidgeted in your seat as you felt the heat continue to blossom between your legs and the sensation was almost too intense—even as aroused as you were. Unconsciously you tilted your pelvis, arching your back and biting at you lip. It suddenly felt a lot warmer in here. 

“You know, Glorxophan isn’t just—doesn’t just make a great fill-in for vodka. It also contains a compound that acts as a mild aphrodisiac in humans. F-funny coincidence that I ran into another human in this shithole.”

You could feel the slickness lubricating you now, even as you questioned whether this was considered consensual or not. Almost a little too outright deceiving for you to trust sleeping with him, but you couldn’t help yourself as leaned into the touch of his hand that was now resting on your upper arm. Feeling your toes curl and taking a sharp inhale, you knew you’d already made up your mind. 

There’s no way you weren’t fucking him tonight.

“S-so if there’s someone you want to use it with. Doesn’t have to-doesn’t have to be me. Hell even j-just go home and jerk off,” he interrupted your brief musings, his hand involuntarily squeezing your arm at the thought of you masturbating. You got the feeling that he had every intention of sleeping with you tonight, but nice of him to offer you an out after basically roofying you. His cheeks were becoming noticeably flushed as well, and your chest heaved slowly with every hitched breath you took. You dug your nails into the spongey material of the bar as you eyed the two full shot glasses in front of Rick. 

“Okay,” you breathed, “I-how am I supposed to hold it together through another shot of this? I think that’s too much for me.”

“I was thinking we’d take the second one to go. Trust me, the first will wear off way before you’re ready for it to.” He reached into his coat and pulled out what you knew to be a portal gun. “Y-your place or mine?” he hissed breathily through partially clenched teeth.

“Mine,” you said with such quickness and certainty that Rick jumped a little. He gasped as you pawed for the portal gun and the brush of your hand against his was a little more electric than you expected. “I’m typing in the coordinates, and then I’m deleting that information from this device.” You hated going to other people’s places for hookups—too dangerous. 

Maybe it was counterintuitive to bring potentially dangerous beings back to your place, but in your own home, you had your own protections. You felt a pulse in your pussy and swallowed back a moan. You needed to be touched sooner rather than later, and half of you hoped his portal gun would retain your location anyway so he’d come back to fuck you every once in a while. 

“H-how ever you want it,” Rick purred, breath hot in your ear while you typed your address into the gun. “Not like I’m in any position to argue about it.” As he pulled away from you, your gaze fell upon the straining bulge in his pants, and without thinking you reached down to palm at him lightly. You weren’t aware of who or what was watching you in the bar, and you hadn’t even thought about the other patrons for what seemed like hours. 

Rick gasped in surprise and let out a pathetic whimper, and you clenched your thighs together at his helpless cry.

“Ahh! D-damn baby!” Rick hissed as quietly as he could. He leaned back in your ear and this time nibbled at it slightly before growling, “Y-you better hurry up with that before I end up bending you over and fucking you r-right over this bar.” Rick stood and successfully balanced the two full shots in one hand, despite swaying slightly—you figured he never intended to pay for them and you didn’t care. You felt his hardness press into the side of your thigh as you activated the portal and he coaxed you through. 

The both of you pushed through the swirling green and into your living room. Your place was pretty modest, but it was all the home you needed. Low maintenance, great for when you’re spending half your time god knows where looking for your next kill. It was also very secure, and you’d spent a long time making it that way. 

Although the pair of you were feeling ready to go from the drinks, Rick still took the time to check out your digs. He chuckled looking out the window, the environment outside showcasing an average human neighborhood. “That’s a-a simulated environment out there, right? Like we’re not just in suburban Illinois right now, right?”

You laughed out loud, feeling giddy. “No. I mean no, we’re not in Illinois, and yes, that’s a simulation.”

“Midwestern girl, huh?”

Your ears turned hot, feeling a little vulnerable remembering your old life. “Just felt sentimental, I guess.”

“I like-I like that, that’s sexy. Like someone walking their dog is gonna see us fucking in the window.”

“You like an audience then?” You inquired, a devilish grin on your lips.

“I like when others can appreciate my handiwork. Some of it might still be on Gazorpian PornHub.”

You chuckled, and you felt a fight in your body between the need between your thighs and the spinning in your head. Rick reached for your arm, his fingers hot to the touch. Neither of you said another word as your mouths crashed together. His lips on yours were even more rousing than you could have imagined, much more intense than the light touches you’d shared up to this point. It was 0 to 100; your breath caught in your throat as Rick’s tongue pushed into your mouth, and as you slumped against him you could feel the continued wetness in your panties. 

Making a noise that was half moan half whimper, you fell open to his embrace, and your legs buckled as he pushed a knee between your thighs. He moved his mouth from yours, lips ghosting your cheek as they came down to suck on your neck. 

“You better not give me a hickey, old man. What are you, 16 years old?” You gasped, all the while tilting your head back to give him better access. 

He licked a stripe up you neck until he was breathing hot in your ear. “Y-you don’t seem to be too worried about it.” One hand was on the small of your back, the other reached up to cup your breast through your top. Sighing deeply, you began to inch backwards towards the entrance of your room, imagining Rick throwing you on the bed and doing a lot more than just grabbing your tit. 

You turned your head and this time it was your uneven breath hot in Rick’s ear. “Come on,” you purred, grabbing his hand and leading him to the bed. As you walked in front of him, he took the liberty of grabbing a big handful of your ass, and you unconsciously arched your back into his touch. You spun around and Rick hastily shoved you backwards onto the bed, and a sound of surprise and arousal snuck out of your open mouth.

Rick straddled you, his significant hardness bearing down on the tender area between your legs. “You really want this, huh?” He ground his hips just slightly but still enough to make you squirm. “You-you like taking old man dick? J-just can’t wait for me to fill you up?” he breathed. His stuttering became more apparent the more breathless he became, and that turned you on.

“‘Old man’ is hardly the weirdest thing I’ve ever fucked,” you quipped, arching your pelvis up into Rick’s, craving that sweet pressure. “But I am very eager for you to fuck me.” You dug your fingers into his hips as he gave low rumbling laugh at your readiness. 

“I-I’m in the same boat, sister. This d-dynamite dick has been around the block. But n-nothing I love more than some good old fashioned pussy.” You felt his lips curl into a smile as they crashed over yours, and the both of you were writhing against each other, still fully clothed.

Rick swiftly crawled his hand up your top and found your bare breast, immediately clamping down on your nipple and giving it a generous tweak with his calloused fingertips. You moaned into his mouth and arched so much you though you’d break your spine. The Glorxophan was still clouding your senses, and right now they were telling you that if your pussy didn’t get touched soon you were going to die. 

Rick continued tugging and pinching your nipple, eventually pulling off your top with much help from yourself. He dipped his head down to latch his mouth to your breast, and you cried out as you felt the sharp sting of his bite. 

“I-I’ve barely touched your pussy yet, but I-I know you’re dripping wet,” he said as he pulled his mouth off you. The only answer you could give him was a weak moan and a buck of your hips. 

He carelessly shrugged off his lab coat and pulled off his shirt, lowering back down to catch you in another kiss, your skin hot and sensitive from the aphrodisiac, both of you savoring every point of contact you shared. You wrapped your arms around his back and dug your fingernails in as he ground down on you, and you struggled to think of the last time you were this close to another human being. As Rick tangled his fingers in your hair, and slowed the kiss to a pace that seemed much too romantic for him, you imagined maybe he felt the same way. It was lonely out here, it was hard to relate to most beings, and even if you returned to your old life on Earth, you knew it would feel even lonelier. You both made your lives lonely by design, but that didn’t make it any easier. 

Rick rolled off to lay beside you, mouth coming back to one of your swollen nipples, other hand cupping you between your legs. Tossing and turning, you did all you could to increase the friction between you and his hand. There was a light tinkling as Rick unceremoniously undid his belt and freed his erection. You strained to look up, drinking in the sight of him, licking your lips as you noted the already glistening tip of his cock. It wasn’t the biggest thing that had ever been inside you, but you knew he was going to fill you up good.

“Rick, please—,” you gasped before you even realized what you’d said. You hated begging during sex, but you were turned on that he’d pushed you there despite yourself. 

“P-please what, baby? Bet you want me to touch this hot pussy of yours. You’re practically in tears w-waiting for it.” You could only offer a weak nod as he began stripping you of your pants, much slower than he’d stripped himself. You knew you were as wet as Rick assumed, and you couldn’t wait for him to feel how turned on he’d gotten you. Furthermore, you felt like your pussy was on fire and the only cure was getting fucked hard. 

You were so sensitive you couldn’t imagine what it was going to feel like when your clit actually got touched, and you wriggled a little more at the thought. Much to both your chagrin and pleasure, even after Rick has your pants pulled all the way down, the most he does is graze his fingers along your slit, on the outside of your underwear. Shivering, you elicit a moan and continue to buck your hips, desperately trying to get more contact with his hand.

“Rick! Ahhhh,” you cried, eyes closed, tossing your head side to side. 

“God, you look so fucking sexy like this. C-can’t wait to get my fingers in you,” he crooned, still teasing you from outside your panties. 

“Fuuuck,” you moaned, loving how heated he was from just touching you. “Any day now,” you teased. 

Your breath stopped as he removed his hand and reared back to slap his hand right across your aching pussy. The strike wasn’t a violent one, but it was hard enough to sting and send a shockwave to the rest of your body and push an indecent sound out of your mouth.

“S-so impatient. We got-we have all night, baby,” Rick said, smoothing his hand over your pussy. 

Weakly, you tried to grab at his ignored cock, and he laughed through a moan as you loosely gloved him with your hand. “D-don’t worry about that for now. I’m dying to get my hands on this sweet cunt first.”

Finally showing a little bit of haste, Rick prompted you to lift your hips as he slid your underwear down your legs. He dipped one finger between your folds, carefully circling your clit before slowly plunging a finger inside you. Both of you moaned in unison as he brought the finger to his mouth and licked it clean.

“G-god you’re so wet. So good.” He brought his hand back between your legs, lazily circling your clit as all you could do was lean back and keen against his hand, eyes screwed shut and breathless. 

It was like you’d never really had anything touch your clit until now, your senses still heightened from the drink. The seconds ticked on tortuously as he continued brush you in small circles, drawing moan after moan from your lips. You let your heavy eyelids drift open, and Rick was staring at you with a devilish smirk across his lips, captivated by the look on your face as he touched you. 

“God, yes, Rick,” you crooned, his touch becoming a little more heavy handed as you praised him. He began to dip a finger inside you, a little more with each thrust and you savored each moment of fullness. With almost no warning, Rick entered you with two digits and crooked them upward, repeatedly hitting that aching spot inside you with a quickened pace.

“Holy fuuuuck!” You cried out, having a hard time keeping up with the waves of pleasure being sent through your body with little notice. Rick kept his eyes on you, thoroughly enjoying the fruits of his labor.

“I-imagine how good my cock’s gonna feel, huh?” He whispered huskily, dipping his head down to kiss you again, catching your breathless moans in his mouth. 

After what seemed like hours of his fingers curling inside you, he slowly retracted them, making you sorely miss their presence but hoping they’d be replaced with his cock soon. He brought his hand up to your mouth, and you sucked greedily without hesitation, swallowing your own wetness as he plunged his fingers far back in your mouth. You were breathing hard, your eyes lidded, cheeks flushed. 

“Th-this, this is gonna be fun,” he mused as he slowly clambered back on top of you, and you waited for him to guide his cock inside you. Instead, he slowly crawled down the bed until he was eye level with your pussy, surveying you hungrily. 

You tensed up with anticipation before he plunged his face between your legs, at first tasting you more for his own pleasure than yours. When he began to suck gently on your clit, you clenched your thighs so hard you weren’t sure if he could even breathe, but you felt the vibrations between your legs as he groaned. Instinctively, your hand flew down to tangle in his hair, further smothering his face with your wetness as he moaned muffled obscenities. 

Lifting your head weakly, you struggled to see the gorgeous view of his head bobbing between your legs, held in place by your firm hand. Each stroke and suck sent a new wave of pleasure through you, and you thought of just a few moments ago when you were yearning for this touch. You weren’t sure how Rick had made it this long with his cock untouched, hard, and leaking. 

Rick continued to taste every bit of you, running his tongue along your clit, through your folds, and inside you. He’d hooked his arms around your thighs to keep a tight hold even as you writhed around under him. You knew you could cum soon if he kept going, and your thighs tensing and fingers pulling his hair told Rick the same thing.

Licking a stripe between your legs, he detached his mouth from you and took a a few deep breaths, able to get big gulps of air now that he wasn’t nose deep in your pussy. His mouth shined with your wetness, but he didn’t make any attempt to clean himself as he rose back up to kiss you messily, your wide open mouth accepting his tongue that was coated with you. You could feel his slobber and your lubrication smear across both your faces as you both panted heavily through the kiss. As Rick pulled away, he licked the saltiness off his lips.

“Y-you taste so good. I hate when p-people are too lame to kiss after oral.” You knew you had a devilish look in your eye as you ran your tongue over your bottom lip, tasting both of you there. “You were an eager beaver. Pun-pun intended.”

Giggling, your hand on the back of his head pulled his mouth back down to yours and your tongues explored each other for a moment longer. “I love to taste myself in someone else’s mouth,” you purred.

“Good girl,” he said, his tone husky and eyes lidded. He backed himself down your body again and you braced yourself thinking his mouth was going back on your pussy, but instead he stood and turned to leave the room. “H-hold on just a second.”

You pouted as you lay untouched, a fire still going between your legs. It was hard to resist bringing your own hand to your clit as you sat up on the bed, slickness still leaking from between your legs. 

Rick returned shortly, erect cock still jutting out from his body, and you swallowed as you thought of what was to come through the rest of this endeavor. He regarded your naked body as he sat the two shots of Glorxophan on your night stand.

“T-trust me, we’re gonna want these in about ten minutes,” he said matter-of-factly, though still feeling the swirling in your head and heat on your skin, you weren’t so sure. “Now-now where were we?”

He walked to stand between your knees as you sat on the bed, leaving you eye-level with his surely aching cock. You smoothed your hands down his thighs as you looked up at him and he looked down on you. He reached a hand down to card through your hair, and although it wasn’t forceful, you felt the power he had over you as he tilted your head back. 

You sighed softly as your hands reached his balls, and as soon as you began gently cupping them, his grip on your hair loosened and his head fell back, jaw slackened.

Now it was your turn to tease.

Slowly your hands crept to the base of Rick’s cock where you wrapped one around his shaft and grabbed his bony hip with the other. His grip in your hair tightened as you began to slowly stroke him, still avoiding the wet, swollen tip. 

Eventually, you allowed your fingers to make contact with the beads of fluid gathering at the head of Rick’s cock, letting the wetness lubricate your increasingly quicker strokes. You smiled as you felt him jump in your hand and heard him hiss above you. 

“Fuuuck,” he all but whispered with his head still thrown back while you finally rolled your slick palm over the tip of his dick. Consciously or not, he was pulling your head closer and closer to his groin.

“Now who can’t wait for it?” You teased, getting close enough for him to feel your breath on him. He tilted his head down to see you glassy eyed looking back up at him, his hard cock heavy in your hand.

“S-suck me,” he mumbled, other hand coming around to gather your hair in a bundle and hold it behind your head. You responded by snaking your tongue from your mouth and giving him a swift lick right over his slit. “P-please, suck me,” he continued through gritted teeth.

You made sure he saw the grin spread over your face before you wordlessly took his entire length into your mouth. Instantly you felt his hand in your hair drag your head forward, pushing his cock to bump against the back of your throat. Swallowing around him, you felt him go slack again as you begin bobbing your head up and down his cock, tongue swirling to collect the salty liquid at the tip. Rick began to buck his hips slightly, sighing every time he bottomed out in the back of your mouth. He fucked your mouth very deliberately, gentle enough that you weren’t outright gagging, but hard enough that tears stung at the corners of your eyes. Fingers still tight in your hair, he looked down on you with lidded eyes and slack jaw.

“Yes, baby. Just l-like that. Good girl,” he crooned, voice a gravelly whisper. Normally you’d be somewhat turned off by these kinds of pet names, but his praise went straight to your cunt and filled you with the desire to please him.

Pulling off him slightly, you brought a hand to the base of his shaft and firmly stroked, focusing your mouth at the tip. There was saliva gathering at the corners of your mouth and tears welling over onto your face, and you were sure the view Rick had of you right now was downright sinful. As you moved your hand down to fondle his balls, you took him back into your mouth all the way to the base with a slurp. His cock twitched in your mouth with each gentle squeeze of your hand, and his breathing became increasingly labored. You pulled off of him with one final pop and licked your lips as you took in the sight of his flushed face.

“I’m not gonna let you cum before you fuck me,” you hissed while catching your breath.

Tilting your chin up with his long fingers, he chuckled before remarking, “Don’t-don’t worry baby. That was never an option.” You raised yourself up to meet his mouth as another kiss crashed down on you, both of you tasting the other on each other’s lips. Once you pulled apart, the pair of you panting, Rick came around to nip your ear once again. 

“H-how about you bend over for me?’

You wordlessly complied, adjusting yourself on the bed on all fours, back fully arched and legs spread. You heard Rick growl as he ran a hand down your spine and eventually over your ass. He smoothed both hands over your cheeks as you waited with bated breath for his next move.

“Y-you’ve been such a good girl for me, b-but I think you should still get some spankings,” he mused. You hummed in approval and leaned further into his touch, shivering with anticipation. All at once you felt the absence of his hand, and then the stinging strike across your skin. 

Wriggling around both from the force of Rick’s hand and your own arousal, you buried your face into the mattress and gasped, “Harder.”

“Mmmm,” Rick responded, palm smoothing over your stinging flesh. When he pulled his hand back again, your breath caught in your throat, and when he brought it back down against your ass you let out a weak whimper. 

He continued the cycle of raining a stiff hand down on your backside, and then soothing the reddened flesh with an open palm. You loved the moments in between strikes, your body tensing up to take the next slap. Facedown on the bed, slobber pooling underneath your mouth and fresh tears gathering in your eyes, gasping and moaning each time his hand came down on you.

Rick took both hands over your cheeks, caressing your raw skin, then he carefully found your slit and plunged a finger in past two knuckles. You clenched around him as the finger left you as quickly as it was inserted. 

“T-that wasn’t a punishment for you, you’re dripping again,” he observed, and although you weren’t looking you were sure he was sucking his finger clean. He came into your line of vision suddenly, retrieving the two shot glasses from your bedside table. “Wanna-wanna get these down before the main event?” He said offering you one of the glasses. 

Rolling over and sitting up to face Rick, you took stock of how much the first shot was still influencing you. It was apparent you’d come down some, but you still had a considerable buzz. For a moment you hesitated, but you were too eager to find out how it would feel to be fucked after a second dose of the aphrodisiac. And hell—you’d come this far.

You took the shot glass from him, and both of you gave a “Cheers!” As you downed the shots through linked arms. Just as before, you felt the drink in your head first, needing a moment for the substance to even out in your body. Once again, Rick was titling your chin up and pulling you forward into a kiss. It was your most desperate embrace yet, both of you open mouthed with searching tongues, a new fire lit between you. 

“Why don’t you get-why don’t you show me that ass again?” Rick breathed as he separated from you, his hand idly stroking his cock, shivering from his own touch. 

“Yeah,” you said, lust permeating your tone as you again positioned yourself on all fours, Rick taking his place behind you. This time, you felt the tip of his cock bump up against your entrance and you instinctively spread your legs farther to give him better access. He was dripping again, and he used both your natural lubricants to slide the head of his cock up and down your slit, stoping to pay a little more attention to your clit each time.

“God, fuck me already,” you demanded, your core on fire more than ever before. How was he still showing so much restraint? You heard him laugh under his breath, and felt his cock begin to breach you. He grabbed your hips to pull you back as he thrust forward, and both of you moaned in unison as he fully entered you.

As good as Rick’s fingers felt earlier, they were nothing compared to his cock. You were so glad to finally be filled up you almost sobbed in relief. 

God, you wanted it.

Rick was breathing hard again, and you could feel his cock jump inside you as he spoke in deep, gravelly tones. “Y-you ready for this, babygirl? Your pussy feels so good. I-I’m gonna fucking pound you.”

“Rick, please, do it,” you choked out, yearning for him to move as you pressed back against him. Feeling his hands grip your hips on both sides, you knew he had a cocky smirk on his face as he began to pump in and out of you with a pace much too slow for your taste. Although you were eager for him to get on with it, you drank in each of the filthy moans and sighs Rick let out as he carefully began to fuck you.

“God, so g-good,” he muttered, beginning to put a little more power behind his strokes. As he slid in you fully, he rested a palm on the small of your back and slid it all the way up to the back of your neck before grabbing a fistful of hair and wrenching your head back, the torque on your body only allowing him to push in further.

He picked up his pace, enough that you could hear the indecent sounds of flesh slapping flesh, the coil of pleasure building in your core with each stroke. He was hitting something inside you just right, and you wanted more.

“Fuck,” you gasped, your head spinning, pussy throbbing.

“Te sientes muy bien,” he whispered more to himself than you. The Spanish caught you off guard but you found it sexy that he was enjoying this so much he reverted to a second language. He spoke in a way that told you he was pretty fluent, and that was sexy to you too. Spanish was a romance language, after all. 

“Dámelo duro,” you purred, pushing yourself back on his cock. Rick’s cock twitched and you heard a groan and then a laugh at your unexpected reply.

“Ahh, ¿t-tu hablas español?’ He hummed back in a husky tone, cock still jumping inside you as he continued to push in and out.

“Un poco,” you snickered, your Spanish sounding much less natural than Rick’s. You felt his nimble hands return to your hips, and he stopped pumping you momentarily to hoist one foot up onto the bed to give himself more leverage. 

“Y-you want it hard? You’re gonna get it, baby,” he said, his low, rumbling voice making your pelvic muscles clench involuntarily. 

Rick had clearly decided the time for talk was over, and he gave a you a few slow but impactful pumps punctuated by the loud slap of skin, before digging his nails into your hips and pounding into you without restraint. Your vision seemed to go white, and your arms gave out beneath you as your head dropped and your face was pushed into the mattress with each snap of his hips. You could be pretty vocal in bed, but in this moment you sounded like a porn actress faking it for the cameras, except your noises were 100% authentic.

A slew of curses were leaving Rick’s mouth as he panted and plunged into you over and over. You gripped the sheets with clenched fists, feeling like his hands on your hips were the only thing holding you up, and each time his cock rammed against that sweet spot inside you felt another ounce of strength leave your body.

“God, yes Rick, _fuck_ ,’ you cried out, earning yourself a swift spank from him, the pleasure and pain going straight to your head. 

“Yeah, fuck yeah, say my name,” he grunted, the sound of his name falling wantonly from your lips igniting more desire in him.

Obliging him, his name escaped your mouth again, and you were surprised he was still able to keep up his rigorous pace — for a man of his age, he’d proved to be a much more energetic lover than you assumed. He gave your backside another slap, and you could hear how labored his breathing was becoming. The fullness inside you was building towards your orgasm, but your clit was screaming to be touched. 

Face still pressing into the mattress, you were able to weakly reach a hand between your legs to circle a finger around the sensitive bundle of nerves. You moaned, feeling the effects of the stimulation combined with Rick’s pounding. He did the same, feeling you tighten around him as you rubbed yourself. 

“Yeah, t-touch that clit. You’re so good for me, your pussy’s so good. You like this cock in you, huh? Like to get p-pounded by this old man?” Rick panted, still driving into you. His dirty talk only added to the pool of pleasure inside you, and you knew soon your time was going to be up.

“Ahhh! Yes, Rick. S-so good,” you croaked, feeling like you were going to forget how to speak soon. “I’m-I’m gonna—,” you sputtered.

“You gonna cum babygirl? Yeah, cum for me. Th-that’s it,” Rick said, his low voice coaxing your orgasm out of you. You came wordlessly—but not silently—as you fell over the edge, convulsing over Rick’s cock as he continued his strokes, pulling you closer by the hips to fuck as deep into you as he could. “Yeah, that’s right. Cum hard, you deserve it.”

Panting, you were now completely slack on the bed, and slowly Rick pulled out leaving an aching emptiness inside you. Rick patted your thigh and said very low and soft, “Turn over.”

Feeling a dull cramp in your low back from arching yourself for so long, it was a relief to lay flat on the bed. Rick loomed over you, the most mischievous look on his face you’d seen yet. Swiftly, he brought his fingers back up to your tender pussy, and you weren’t sure where this was going now but you spread your legs to grant him access nonetheless. 

As he had done earlier, he once again thrust his fingers into you, flexing with a come-hither motion that was rocking you to the core. His other hand was resting low on your pelvis, a gentle pressure pushing down on your belly. You were so sensitive from your orgasm, but Rick was fingering you with relentless agility. 

“Fuuck,” was all you could get out, feeling so spent and overwhelmed from all the stimulation. You sensed compression forming in your low abdomen, and it was then you realized what Rick wanted—and he was about to get it. 

A strangled moan escaped you and every muscle in your body seized up, and then a wave of release washed over you even stronger than before as you felt warm liquid gushing from between your legs. 

“Fuck yes,” Rick hissed through clenched teeth. “Y-yeah, squirt for me baby.” He continued his fingering with a fervor, and so much liquid had spilled from you that you could hear a wet sloshing as his fingers continued to thrust into you. Once your panting had slowed and you’d ridden out the aftershocks, Rick pulled his fingers from you, leaving your pussy still trembling and open. He hummed contentedly as he brought his mouth between your legs, lapping up the spoils he’d worked so hard for. He circled your clit with his tongue, leaving you writhing beneath him as he stimulated your oversensitive cunt. 

You were utterly drained, your body slack on the bed as Rick clambered on top of you. He lined himself up with your entrance and effortlessly entered you again, aided by the puddle of lubrication between your legs. You knew you weren’t going to cum again, but you savored the fullness and you suspected you were going to get some more good fucking in before Rick got his rocks off. His strokes were slow, and he brought his mouth, slick with wetness, down to yours again. When you thought about hooking up with Rick Sanchez, you didn’t quite envision so much kissing, but you weren’t going to complain

“Fuck, Rick,” you breathed as he broke the kiss, starting to fuck into you a little more earnestly.

“Y-you are, babe,” he snickered, and you rolled your eyes but laughed with him. Both of you were covered in a sheen of sweat, and you brought your arms around his back to hold yourself steady. Pace quickening again, Rick brought both hands to your ankles, pushing them up as far up as they could, folding you in half in order to fuck you harder. 

“So flexible,” he observed, eyes screwing shut as he concentrated on building his own release back up. Soon he was fucking you good again, wet slapping emanating from where your bodies were joined. 

“Why don’t you cum for me now, huh?” You cooed, bringing your hand up to grip his wrist. Panting through a smirk, you felt his cock twitch at your words. Slowing his pace, he bit his bottom lip and threw his head back, and you purposefully clenched down around him. He was sensually rolling his hips into you and you could tell from his ragged breathing he was close.

“C’mon Rick, fill me up,” you taunted, and his low groan told you your words had gotten to him. His hands dropped from your ankles to the bed on either side of you, and you wrapped your legs around him to urge him deeper into you. Resting his damp forehead on your shoulder, you felt his hot breath on your skin and could feel him begin to tense up.

“God, I-,” was all Rick got out as you felt the final jerks of his cock and the hot sensation of him shooting into you. Your hands circled around the back of his head, your fingers tangling in his hair as he grunted out his last few thrusts, riding his orgasm to the very end.

For a few moments you both lay still, skin sticky with sweat, Rick’s dead weight on top of you. Once he caught his breath, he rolled off you and you turned to face him. You couldn’t remember the last time sex had you feeling so spent, and you thought you could fall asleep right then, both of your fluids still leaking from between your legs.

“H-how was that, baby?” Rick inquired, the first one to break the silence.

“It was alright,” you shrugged, and the incredulous look on his face sent you into a fit of giggles. “I’m kidding, obviously. You fucked the shit out of me.”

“D-damn straight, I did,” he said smugly. “So,” he began, “if you were contracted to kill me, how would you do it?” The question had you taken aback, who the fuck asks that after sex?

“Well,” you thought out loud. “I’d probably…” Your hand silently dipped to the side of the mattress and extracted the gun stored there. “Suck the cum out of you and then blow your head off after your guard was down,” you finished, brandishing the gun on him at point blank range. For a moment he looked genuinely terrified, and that stirred something inside you.

“J-jesus Christ!” He called out, holding his hands up. Unable to hold up your facade any longer, you burst into another laughing fit.

“Oh my god, I’m just fucking with you,” you wheezed, lowering the gun and tucking it away. Rick looked equal parts pissed and relieved, but he still cracked a nervous smile.

“Threaten me anymore and I just might have another-you might get me hard again,” he mewled, and you got the sense that he wasn’t joking. “Say, uh, I don’t usually do this but, you took a lot out of me. M-mind if I crash tonight?” You turned to him with a puzzled look.

“Can’t you just portal home?” You laughed. He started to speak again, but you cut him off. “Listen, if you wanted to hang around for pillow talk and post-sex cuddling, all you had to do was ask.” Redness crept up his ears and you found you loved seeing him embarrassed—you tucked that away for future endeavors.

“I-it’s not like that, I just—,” he sputtered.

“I’m big spoon,” you proclaimed, turning to drape and arm around him. Ears still hot, he rolled over and accepted you embrace without argument. You didn’t take this as any kind of sign that Rick was into you as anything but fuckbuddies, but it did humanize him a little for you. You thought back to earlier when you were savoring the touch of another human, and his slow, intimate kisses. You were surprised that the one thing you got wrong about him was that he’d ghost immediately after fucking you, but weren’t mad. 

The two of you lay there, lonely by design, a rare pair of humans in the deep reaches of space. You hummed contentedly to yourself, feeling the warmth emanate from Rick’s still hot skin. He didn’t need a girlfriend or a partner—but he did need to feel the comfortable embrace of another person once in a while, and so did you.

You definitely weren’t deleting your coordinates from his portal gun.


End file.
